Discombobfuckulation

I can't think straight. Not only do I have way too much on my mind, I have been dealing with constant neck and head aches. Money is a constant struggle, but thank God we make it each week. I put a lot of time and effort (and unfortunately stress) into figuring everything down to the penny to make sure we have what we need. The economy is f'ing with Rich's job and I am still struggling since my support was cut by a huge amount.

I worry Faery Wings won't do well with everyone in the country struggling to make ends meet. But I have a good feeling about it. I am almost done, I just need a bit more money for the payment processing and a few other things and it will be up. I changed the design many, many times. I went away from the clean stark white and went with earth tones. My design and coding skills are limited so I tend to get very frustrated.

After probably 20 different banner designs, I ended up with almost the same thing I had before, but with different colors. lol

Once I make a bit of income I will be able to add things I have created myself which Faery Wings will end up being more towards that. But it takes money. I have a plan... but need to learn patience! That has never been a virtue of mine. :p Meanwhile all my plans get jumbled up into a clusterfuck in my head. I got away from journaling and I really need to get back to a private one to keep all my ideas from colliding in my head. I am designing Faery Wings to have a journal so I can introduce new things when they happen. It will also have an RSS feed to alert new stock. I haven't decided if I'll keep the guestbook. I thought of having that instead of product reviews. I will also have a favorite links area to cross link some of my favorite places. ( like Rockangel's gorgeous faery art)
My goal is for the site to be up in the next couple of weeks. I know I sound grumpy and down, but actually I'm not. Just sheer frustration and exhaustion from trying to get the business going. I pretty much had to start from scratch from when I closed it before. Licensing, tax ID's ... everything.

Other than that and being broke things are going really well. I have come across so many of my old high school buds on Facebook. Every week I get more requests. Not only is there my old high school group, but there is even a group from my old neighborhood! Soooo many good friends I lost touch with. One has a house on the beach on an island near Charleston and a real estate business to rent out more. A group is gonna try and get together this summer up there. He asked me to come. I really think I'd like that. I also got an invite to go to New Jersey late summer to get together with my long time buds that run the WMA. I love those guys so much. I'd like to do that too. Rich wants to go to Boston this summer too. I don't think I've been there since the Lord of the Rings Exhibit. Wait ...was that one before the Star Wars exhibit? I went for both. I'm such a nerd. lol
My business needs to do really well or else I soooooooo need to win the lottery! doh!

My babies are doing great. Most of the stress that has plagued us in the last year has been lifted. Zack no longer has stomach issues. He is constantly busy! I told him today as he ran out for work after walking in the door from school I needed some Zack and mom time. We need to just go have fun. Apparently Meg saw him laughing and having a good time with two girls after the movie the other night. He hasn't done a lot of socializing since Michael moved in. I was glad he is back to going out. Mike is more of a homebody and I told Zack he didn't have to be one too.

Meg has a new boyfriend who is so much less needy. I think she was suffocating with the other. Plus the stress of his hormones that she wanted nothing to do with. I do miss him though. We talked a lot. I tried to get him to understand. :-/ Her new guy is talkative, funny, likes to act like she does, and gives her space! His parents are awesome.

Meg's new best friend is exactly like her too. The two of them together is just plain scary. They giggle about everything! I love Cassidy's mom and we have become good friends. The four of us spent a day at Cocoa Village and had a blast. She calls me her long lost twin. I can't wait to get together again. I just wish I had more money so she and I could go do girls night out together. We have a date next week though! lol

Romeo had another seizure the other day. This is his 4th in about 3 1/2 years, which isn't a lot, but since his sister died from them it has me worried. All I can do is comfort him till he comes out of them. Tina spent so much money on Cocoa and there isn't really anything you can do. My friend Diana also spent a fortune on seizure meds for her Yorkie and he still had them. I feel helpless about it at times. It scares the crap out of me when he is going through one.

Anyway, gotta go make dinner then I'm going to lay down and veg probably put in a movie ...

Topsy Turvy

Just feeling a bit nostalgic and extra scurvy "On the sixth of Januervy"

good news

I have been suffering from a migraine all day. Luckily it has eased up and I was able to enjoy laughter in a house full of love. Tyler was even over for a few hours. It's been a very nice evening. On top of it all I received some good news. Things couldn't be better.

I have been annoyed with a few things lately, but everything is coming together. I have let go of frustrations and am facing them head on. I realized I had to, and it seems to be working well. No one or nothing is ever going to control me again.

My angels are looking out for me. Rich and my family saw proof of it last week. I am a very lucky girl. I am often amazed at how truly blessed I am.

I am also very fortunate for wonderful friends. (yes Chris, I am aiming that mostly at you) I don't know what I would do without such wonderful people in my life. <3

So True ...

True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained.

Trying to get it together...

Making Strides is coming up. I'm trying to get a team together. This is the logo I made that will go on the team shirts. Knowing me I will probably change or tweak it before they are made... I'm never happy with what I do...





I'll be reopening Faery Wings soon and put that as a sponsor on the back of the shirt. A few recent events have made me realize I was too depressed to promote it, and I have a few doors opening.

I am also going to be doing some volunteer work for the Cancer Foundation. They are amazingly nice women who work there and gave me great information to get the help I need. Zack and Meg are going there this week to get volunteer hours. When I get a little money I'm going to donate items from Faery Wings for their auction.

It's past due time for a PET scan. I put it off because the co pay has gone up so high. But I need to get it done.

I'm so tired today. We all are. Just having a lazy day at home today after such a crazy busy day yesterday. I've been putting cold tea compresses and aloe on Zacks sunburn. My poor baby boy. Meg and Rich have headaches from all the crazy rides they went on. Serves them right for being such daredevils. lol I'm thankful Rich loves to ride roller coasters. I used to love them, but chemo has fucked my body up and I get sick as hell with most any motion now. I even had to sit in the stationary seats in Shrek 4D. I've become pathetic.

Thank God for Chris. We sat in air conditioning and sipped drinks while the daredevils played. Thank goodness for the wimpy rides too so I could have some excitement. Thank you Chris for such a great birthday gift. We had a blast. You are an amazing friend. It was exactly what I needed. Another huge thank you goes to your friend who got us VIP passes. It was so awesome to be able to go to the front of the line and not have to wait for anything! When people would look at us with our badges I kept thinking I would tell them Meg was a FORD model. (well she is!) lol I wish my camera wasn't broken so I could have some pictures of the day... especially when we were under Hulk looking up and Rich and Meg upside down! I had a great time and can't WAIT till Harry Potterland (or whatever they are going to call it) opens "next fall". lol

I hope we didn't wear you out too bad. I know I zoned out a few times, and didn't think I'd make it. But after our rests in air conditioning I felt better. I'll probably be in bed most of tomorrow too. But it's a price I'm willing to pay for having such a blast.

RIP

As hard as these pictures are for me to look at, I thought I'd repost them from Peter's Blog. Peter took these at Fort Snelling National Cemetery.

I believe the flower arrangement in this picture is the one my friends at the WMA bought.

It looks as though he went out in style. Just as he would have wanted.

Rest in peace, my dear friend. You will never be forgotten.

FW Widget

I worked on a widget to get my mind off of things. I was too worn out from running around town all day to do anything fun tonight. Tomorrow I'll be in Orlando. My daughter planned her own play day with her friends. Thank gawd they are paying their own way. Me and Chris can just veg and sip coffee while the girls goof off.

Anyway, here's my widget. I hope it works. I was so freakin confused making this! ...lol

Heartwarming....

An old friend of mine whom I lost touch with over stupid things I don't even remember spent the last few days drawing this gorgeous picture. She really captured not only Kip's image but emotion too.

I wish she had signed it! Maybe she will send me a newer version with her signature.

*hint hint*

Thank you for sharing this gorgeous tribute to Kip with me.

More on Kip ...

I have found a few things about Kip online. The most interesting is this blog from Bible Money Matters . It is an old colleague of Kips who wrote about him. I find it ironic that one of his memorials would be in a Christian based blog. He would find that amusing too.

His obituary guestbook is already getting posts, and one brought me to tears. The one thing that holds true about him is he had the outer intimidating exterior. If he didn't like someone... they knew it. He didn't hold back. But he had a heart of gold and was the most loyal friend to have. He was a truly amazing guy with a personality bigger than life. He was someone that could never be ignored.

There are a couple of topics on the WMA about him too.

I would give anything to have the money to get to that funeral on Friday. It's going to take me a good long while to recover from this loss. I will never forget him. He will always be in my heart.

**edit**

Maureen sent me another link she found. (thanks girlie!)
He looks so young and clean cut!

Another link



To add a bit of lightheartedness, I want to share this Photoshopped image Melissa (Sachi) made a few years back.

Gia and Kip at the prom

Loss of a friend

I didn't think this weekend could get worse.
I got a call earlier that a dear friend of mine passed away this afternoon. He had pneumonia and ended up dying from Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. I am numb, yet in excruciating pain. We used to be so close for years, but because of a few little tiffs, we drifted apart the past couple of years. If there were only a way to erase the stupid things we do in life. We are both Gemini. Both have hot tempers and tons of love to give. Both wore out hearts on our sleeves. When we had good times, they were great. When we clashed... everyone ran for cover. Please, God forgive me for the mean things I said to him. His friendship meant the world to me. He had a tough metal exterior, but he was soft and sweet on the inside. He had a good heart and soul. Please take care of him. He will be missed greatly.
To anyone reading this... treat those you love like they are special every day.
Kip Allan aka NightbreedRest in peace my dear friend.

Check this out ...

My friends put this video together. It is f'ing great.

I am going to vote on Tuesday and am still deciding. I had to post this because I thought it was put together so well, extremely clever ... and well... because I love my buds :-)

INCREDIBLE JOB GUYS!!!!!!!