I don't even know what to write. Just... I'm gonna be gone for a while.
I cried all night. I can't stop.
Blog of Gia Bennett
Friday, April 4, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
uuuuggghh... I feel like crap...
I was already exhausted. The long drive to Hilton Head in spring breakers and snowbirds heading back up north after Easter traffic, and quick one day vacation before heading home about killed me. We did have fun though.
We pretty much hung out on the beach all day Saturday. It was beautiful. Dolphins were playing just offshore for hours. The beach up there is just gorgeous. I was going back and forth between being under an umbrella and not. I just can't handle the sun like I used to. We went on a really long walk with my sister and her husband. We came really close to walking the 2 miles down the beach to my parents other condo, but turned around with about a half mile to go. I love the beach better at that condo, but love the area and marina and actual condo unit better at the new place. They are looking at buying a huge 2 story condo there at Shelter Cove. My cousins rented it last summer when we all got together. It was beyond amazing. I hope they get it. Rich, the kids and I are going back this summer and then again at Christmas next year.
Anyway, back to being on the beach. We went back after taking a break for lunch. We were just being lazy relaxing in the sun talking and laughing when a cool breeze started blowing. It was refreshing in the hot sun. Out of nowhere the wind kicked up whipping sand. It was ice cold! People were running gathering there things, umbrellas were flying down the beach, everyone packed up and left. I was amused with the chaos and noticed Rich and my sister still sitting also wrapped in their towels and not moving. After about 10 minutes of being battered I asked my sister what she wanted to do. She said she didn't care she was fine staying. We were all covered in goosebumps and it was getting colder by the second. I thought.... I asked the wrong person. I then asked Rich what he wanted to do. He said ...let's go. I suggested the hot tub back at the condo. They liked that idea. Steve met up with us at the hot tub. We stayed there and talked for quite a while. After that we showered and went down to the shops and ate at the Mexican place on the harbor. It was great food. Then we bundled up wanting to continue enjoying our only day there and walked to boardwalk area. It wouldn't have been so cold if the wind wasn't so strong...lol. We had a blast anyway. Rich even found a hard to find car for his Pixar Cars collection. We are like two kids in a toy store. :p We went back up to the condo and sat with Val and Steve chatting for hours before we all were so exhausted we went to bed.
On the drive home Sunday I got to drive my new car. I hated not being with Rich but we had fun following each other and talked on the phone alot. We stopped at the outlet mall in St. Augustine to see what they had on sale. I love the curtains my mom bought me from there and wanted to find some for my living room. We ended up wandering the whole mall. We get distracted easily. When we got back to Brevard we stopped at a car wash and washed and vacuumed my dad's car and my new one. We dropped by my parents house and thanked them for letting me use their
car so much. By the time we got home my babies were already there. It was good to be home. They love my new (used) car and Zack is thrilled to have my Grand Am. :)
Rich came home from work yesterday with a stomach bug. Now on top of being exhausted I am feeling queasy and my stomach hurts bad. I saw what he went though. I hope mine doesn't get that bad!!!
We pretty much hung out on the beach all day Saturday. It was beautiful. Dolphins were playing just offshore for hours. The beach up there is just gorgeous. I was going back and forth between being under an umbrella and not. I just can't handle the sun like I used to. We went on a really long walk with my sister and her husband. We came really close to walking the 2 miles down the beach to my parents other condo, but turned around with about a half mile to go. I love the beach better at that condo, but love the area and marina and actual condo unit better at the new place. They are looking at buying a huge 2 story condo there at Shelter Cove. My cousins rented it last summer when we all got together. It was beyond amazing. I hope they get it. Rich, the kids and I are going back this summer and then again at Christmas next year.
Anyway, back to being on the beach. We went back after taking a break for lunch. We were just being lazy relaxing in the sun talking and laughing when a cool breeze started blowing. It was refreshing in the hot sun. Out of nowhere the wind kicked up whipping sand. It was ice cold! People were running gathering there things, umbrellas were flying down the beach, everyone packed up and left. I was amused with the chaos and noticed Rich and my sister still sitting also wrapped in their towels and not moving. After about 10 minutes of being battered I asked my sister what she wanted to do. She said she didn't care she was fine staying. We were all covered in goosebumps and it was getting colder by the second. I thought.... I asked the wrong person. I then asked Rich what he wanted to do. He said ...let's go. I suggested the hot tub back at the condo. They liked that idea. Steve met up with us at the hot tub. We stayed there and talked for quite a while. After that we showered and went down to the shops and ate at the Mexican place on the harbor. It was great food. Then we bundled up wanting to continue enjoying our only day there and walked to boardwalk area. It wouldn't have been so cold if the wind wasn't so strong...lol. We had a blast anyway. Rich even found a hard to find car for his Pixar Cars collection. We are like two kids in a toy store. :p We went back up to the condo and sat with Val and Steve chatting for hours before we all were so exhausted we went to bed.
On the drive home Sunday I got to drive my new car. I hated not being with Rich but we had fun following each other and talked on the phone alot. We stopped at the outlet mall in St. Augustine to see what they had on sale. I love the curtains my mom bought me from there and wanted to find some for my living room. We ended up wandering the whole mall. We get distracted easily. When we got back to Brevard we stopped at a car wash and washed and vacuumed my dad's car and my new one. We dropped by my parents house and thanked them for letting me use their
car so much. By the time we got home my babies were already there. It was good to be home. They love my new (used) car and Zack is thrilled to have my Grand Am. :)
Rich came home from work yesterday with a stomach bug. Now on top of being exhausted I am feeling queasy and my stomach hurts bad. I saw what he went though. I hope mine doesn't get that bad!!!
I dealt with this long enough...
Was he showing off for someone with him? Does he not remember 3 days earlier? Is he covering for not talking with him?
Can someone please tell me how you can have a conversation with someone for about an hour on Thursday, both equally concerned about someone you love, share stories and concerns, agree that he will talk with this person when he is with him over the weekend to see if he can figure out what is bothering him ... then when I call Sunday night... I get screamed at and accused of all sorts of things. Here is the short version of what I simply asked ... Did you talk to him?.... "yeah". Well did you find out anything? Is he ok? ... "What does it matter? Why do YOU have to know?" Well when we talked the other night, we were both concerned and you agreed to talk to him.... "What, did you grill him for information when he got home and he gave you attitude so now you are grilling me?" No, I just came to you with my concerns and I thought ...
I just cried and said I didn't need his crap and hung up. I should have known he wouldn't have a talk with him. I should have known I couldn't go to him as a co parent with my concerns. Why do I continue to bother?
Can someone please tell me how you can have a conversation with someone for about an hour on Thursday, both equally concerned about someone you love, share stories and concerns, agree that he will talk with this person when he is with him over the weekend to see if he can figure out what is bothering him ... then when I call Sunday night... I get screamed at and accused of all sorts of things. Here is the short version of what I simply asked ... Did you talk to him?.... "yeah". Well did you find out anything? Is he ok? ... "What does it matter? Why do YOU have to know?" Well when we talked the other night, we were both concerned and you agreed to talk to him.... "What, did you grill him for information when he got home and he gave you attitude so now you are grilling me?" No, I just came to you with my concerns and I thought ...
I just cried and said I didn't need his crap and hung up. I should have known he wouldn't have a talk with him. I should have known I couldn't go to him as a co parent with my concerns. Why do I continue to bother?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Tribute
Thank you Tharikifa so much for making this beautiful tribute to our Nightbreed. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you also for including me in the quotes. I feel honored.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
not feeling well ...
I really need to make a doctors appointment when I get back from SC. I haven't felt right for almost two weeks now. I also didn't react well to my last chemo treatment. I am so fatigued, bloated to where my face looks freaky and I can't wear my rings. I feel like I am breathing through a tube, and my blood feels like it is racing through my body. :-/ On top of that my ankle never healed from when I fell out of the attic a few months back. It has a big swollen knot that grows and shrinks depending on how much I am on it.
The thought of driving 6 hours each way for such a short time is making me tired thinking about it. But I'm excited to get a new (used) car to drive. I hope my son gets a job soon to pay the insurance on my car that I am giving him. Gawd I hate freakin about how I'm going to pay for things.
The thought of driving 6 hours each way for such a short time is making me tired thinking about it. But I'm excited to get a new (used) car to drive. I hope my son gets a job soon to pay the insurance on my car that I am giving him. Gawd I hate freakin about how I'm going to pay for things.
Monday, March 24, 2008
RIP
As hard as these pictures are for me to look at, I thought I'd repost them from Peter's Blog. Peter took these at Fort Snelling National Cemetery.
I believe the flower arrangement in this picture is the one my friends at the WMA bought.It looks as though he went out in style. Just as he would have wanted.
Rest in peace, my dear friend. You will never be forgotten.
looong drive ...
I'm so exhausted. Zack had a casting in Miami this morning. We left well before the sun came up. 6 hours of driving for 5 minutes of being seen. I really hope he gets it, but I'm heading to Hilton Head this weekend to pick up my sisters car. She's letting me make payments to her for it, then Zack can have mine. We have to go back out again tomorrow to find him a job! I can't afford insurance for two cars on my own. So, I hope if he gets this modeling job it shoots at least no sooner than next week, I can't handle too many trips in one week. And where the heck am I gonna get gas money for all this? Why do I do the things I do??? *sigh*
Friday, March 21, 2008
FW Widget
I worked on a widget to get my mind off of things. I was too worn out from running around town all day to do anything fun tonight. Tomorrow I'll be in Orlando. My daughter planned her own play day with her friends. Thank gawd they are paying their own way. Me and Chris can just veg and sip coffee while the girls goof off.
Anyway, here's my widget. I hope it works. I was so freakin confused making this! ...lol
Anyway, here's my widget. I hope it works. I was so freakin confused making this! ...lol
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Heartwarming....
An old friend of mine whom I lost touch with over stupid things I don't even remember spent the last few days drawing this gorgeous picture. She really captured not only Kip's image but emotion too.
I wish she had signed it! Maybe she will send me a newer version with her signature.
*hint hint*
Thank you for sharing this gorgeous tribute to Kip with me.
Thank you for sharing this gorgeous tribute to Kip with me.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
More on Kip ...
I have found a few things about Kip online. The most interesting is this blog from Bible Money Matters . It is an old colleague of Kips who wrote about him. I find it ironic that one of his memorials would be in a Christian based blog. He would find that amusing too.
His obituary guestbook is already getting posts, and one brought me to tears. The one thing that holds true about him is he had the outer intimidating exterior. If he didn't like someone... they knew it. He didn't hold back. But he had a heart of gold and was the most loyal friend to have. He was a truly amazing guy with a personality bigger than life. He was someone that could never be ignored.
There are a couple of topics on the WMA about him too.
I would give anything to have the money to get to that funeral on Friday. It's going to take me a good long while to recover from this loss. I will never forget him. He will always be in my heart.
**edit**
Maureen sent me another link she found. (thanks girlie!)
He looks so young and clean cut!
Another link
To add a bit of lightheartedness, I want to share this Photoshopped image Melissa (Sachi) made a few years back.
His obituary guestbook is already getting posts, and one brought me to tears. The one thing that holds true about him is he had the outer intimidating exterior. If he didn't like someone... they knew it. He didn't hold back. But he had a heart of gold and was the most loyal friend to have. He was a truly amazing guy with a personality bigger than life. He was someone that could never be ignored.
There are a couple of topics on the WMA about him too.
I would give anything to have the money to get to that funeral on Friday. It's going to take me a good long while to recover from this loss. I will never forget him. He will always be in my heart.
**edit**
Maureen sent me another link she found. (thanks girlie!)
He looks so young and clean cut!
Another link
To add a bit of lightheartedness, I want to share this Photoshopped image Melissa (Sachi) made a few years back.
Gia and Kip at the prom
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Loss of a friend
I didn't think this weekend could get worse.
I got a call earlier that a dear friend of mine passed away this afternoon. He had pneumonia and ended up dying from Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. I am numb, yet in excruciating pain. We used to be so close for years, but because of a few little tiffs, we drifted apart the past couple of years. If there were only a way to erase the stupid things we do in life. We are both Gemini. Both have hot tempers and tons of love to give. Both wore out hearts on our sleeves. When we had good times, they were great. When we clashed... everyone ran for cover. Please, God forgive me for the mean things I said to him. His friendship meant the world to me. He had a tough metal exterior, but he was soft and sweet on the inside. He had a good heart and soul. Please take care of him. He will be missed greatly.
To anyone reading this... treat those you love like they are special every day.
Kip Allan aka NightbreedRest in peace my dear friend.
I got a call earlier that a dear friend of mine passed away this afternoon. He had pneumonia and ended up dying from Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. I am numb, yet in excruciating pain. We used to be so close for years, but because of a few little tiffs, we drifted apart the past couple of years. If there were only a way to erase the stupid things we do in life. We are both Gemini. Both have hot tempers and tons of love to give. Both wore out hearts on our sleeves. When we had good times, they were great. When we clashed... everyone ran for cover. Please, God forgive me for the mean things I said to him. His friendship meant the world to me. He had a tough metal exterior, but he was soft and sweet on the inside. He had a good heart and soul. Please take care of him. He will be missed greatly.
To anyone reading this... treat those you love like they are special every day.
Kip Allan aka NightbreedRest in peace my dear friend.
Friday, March 14, 2008
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH
Stupid lying game playing assholes can kiss my fuckin ass! I have had it.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
I am completely and totally distracted today. I can't seem to focus on anything except goofy emails and this kind of stuff ...
Well this one is true with my new relationship anyway.
What Your Soul Really Looks Like |
 You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust. |
You Would Choose Love |
 Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love. You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet. And while many people may claim they would choose love too... You're one of the few who would really do it. |
yeah ... I think so... but the last question I wished for both answers but could only choose one. That one was hard. I'm sick of bill collectors, not having anything left 5 minutes after putting a check in the bank ... wondering if I'll have enough to get food for the week. :/
Your Love Number is 6 |
 Who you fall in love with is all about who you trust. Loyalty is important to you, and you want the most faithful of lovers. In return, you never let your heart or eyes wander. Open and honest, your relationships tend to be free of secrets. |
Well this one is true with my new relationship anyway.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
piccies ...
I was hoping to have pictures of the shuttle launch last night. But after getting up at 2:15 am we saw the brilliant glow of take off ... it's like a sunrise ... then NOTHING! Thick clouds blanketed the sky and we were left standing in the dark disappointed.
So I am posting pictures of the beautiful sunset I took from the roof of my parents condo this past weekend.
