I thought I was letting go of the past and all the anger I have for it, but it's still there. It became even more apparent when I asked the ex to help with funds for his daughter to have gas, toll, parking and eating at the parks today. That went over well and I yelled at him for the first time in a very long time. Not like when we split, but I am still upset he got me to that point. Well... that I allowed myself to get to that point.
I've been sick more than I have been well since the New Year started. I looked at my Louise Hay "Heal your Body" and this is what I saw. The problem is first. The affirmation to say follows.
Bronchitis - Inflamed family environment. Arguments yelling. Sometimes silent.
"I declare peace and harmony within me and all around me. All is well."
Colds - Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.
"I allow my mind to relax and be at peace. Clarity and harmony, within me and around me. All is well."
Coughs - A desire to bark at the world. "See me! Listen to me!"
"I am noticed and appreciated in the most positive ways. I am loved."
I'm alone in the house today. Meg took Danny to Disney for his birthday. Rich left early for work. I pulled out my long lost Angel cards. They used to help me stay focused in times of pain. I'm not sure why I abandoned them. I was looking for a pack of tissues in one of my drawers and found a small amber bottle of anointed oil that I was given when diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I did the sign of the cross with that oil on my throat, chest then my forehead and sat down with my cards. I clumsily mixed them with my eyes closed waiting until it felt right to stop. When my hand was no longer able to move I drew the first card.
Card Meaning - A clean slate is presented to you as you now encounter fresh opportunities and novel experiences.
There are deeper explanations for these cards that really helped me. But I don't want to type all that!
The second card was
Card Meaning - God, the Angels, and the Ascended Masters who love, protect, and guide you are watching over you right now. You are not alone, and you are safe!
The third card
Card Meaning- A situation that has caused you concern is on the mend. You are a natural healer, and healing thoughts have manifested into form.
... and I felt the need to draw a forth
Card Meaning - Trust and follow your intuition. It is God and the Angels speaking to you.
Time for new thoughts, new visions and a new life! Opening my heart and my mind, HEALING!