Failure

I have pretty much failed in life. The one thing that kept me going, kept me wanting to live, is my kids. They are the light of my life. I feel as if I am a failure as a mother too. Everyone said surviving cancer when I was told I would die was a miracle. It's not. It's nothing but a nightmare. I want to get off this ride. I wish I hadn't gone for the damn IV today. I'm never going again.

oh good gawd ...

Just found out Meg has a casting tomorrow morning in South Beach. Another 6 hour round trip plus wait time. My body aches and I am so tired. I'm going to bed extra early tonight, though I haven't slept good in I don't know how long. I pray I sleep tonight. Her castings are so hard not only on my body but financially too. She can't make it if I don't do this, and I would do anything for her and Zack.