Blog of Gia Bennett

Blog of Gia Bennett

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Don't know what to do ...

I lose my health insurance in 3 weeks. Just reading over my disability and medicaid details. I can't make any income, so my new business is useless. I can't even figure out if I am allowed to receive alimony on it. I'm either going to be forced to live in poverty and have severely crappy health care that doesn't cover what I need, or try and actually live life... but die with no health care to cover all my cancer care costs. Does he care? Not at all. Of course his life (to him) is much worse off. I guess he is backing out on us staying married for me to have health coverage.

Honestly... I just fucking give up.


Karen ^..^ said...

Oh, Gin. I'm sorry. I didn't see that you'd posted this till just now.

What's the big push??? Why wouldn't the judge make him cover you for 3 years post-divorce as originally agreed upon?

Being that you do have all of your records, etc, the medicaid will HAVE to pick up the costs for you. You have to have the chemo to live, so they can't NOT cover you, can they? Once you have medicaid, they have to treat you, right?

This isn't good. Does this mean the judge is finalizing the divorce? I'm pretty sure the alimony can be combined with the child support to be "family support", talk to your attorney about that. That way, it may not affect your disability. They cannot count child support as income because its for the children.

I'm so sorry. Just another one of his great gifts. Promising one thing and taking it away in the same breath.

ginnnnsane said...

I have no idea what is going to happen. New judge. My lawyer doesn't seem to care. Hubby definitely doesn't care.

Medicaid will cover Herceptin, but even my doctors say I won't get the same coverage and care I get now. I'll have to change a few doctors too. But this also leaves me in the dilemma of staying in poverty. Other than my house and 1 car, I can't own anything of value $2000) or I lose it. I guess that saves him giving me a lump some of back child support? I don't fully understand it all, but I do know ... I'm screwed.

Rockangel said...

I know that feeling. I had to transfer all my assets to my parents and I still got denied 3 times before getting approved for one month on state. I ended up going on a medically indigent program from the county and had to be treated sitting next to shackled criminals. But you do what you have to do to save your life. Be there for your kids Gin... it will not always bite. ;) And you know your life is worth it. Forget about the ex and all that crap and just focus on staying well.

Karen ^..^ said...

I know the feeling about "hubby" not caring... Mine never cared once we got divorced/separated either. You'd think a man would want to see his kids happy and taken care of, but sadly, the only way some men do that is by using dirty tactics, reveling in turning the kids against mom. Mine recently used a friend of mine as an excuse to turn my youngest against me AND my friend, when she'd had no problem with him prior to that. The stress of it all caused me to tell my friend that he needed to back off and just find other ways to get back and forth to work, etc. I let him store his vehicle at my house, he had it towed there, and he uses it as a storage facility. Goes every so often to get stuff, and to help me with mowing, etc. as a thank you for helping him out. We still work together, so it's all still cordial, but we don't hang out anymore, no more movies, no more him coming to the house. It's a bit of a relief, I got him set up, helped him move out of his house, but now I have my free time back. I'm sort of dating someone else, and will be going up north to visit in early August to visit him and a lot of other friends I've reconnected with. My heart has been ripped to shreds by my kids (or the one using the kids to hurt me)and all I can think about is to get out of this town for a while to save my sanity.

It just feels like when you have children, even 11 years later, the divorce is never really "final"... It seems that my ex feels compelled to divorce me again and again just out of meanness. He knows I don't have the funds to defend this using an attorney. He knows I'm not an unfit mother. He and his wife make disparaging remarks about me to my youngest, about my friends, etc. At 13, of course she's in a very precarious position. Why should she have respect for me when they show her it's ok not to? At least you are lucky in that regard. Your kids have always had a sense of who truly cared about them and who "bought" their affections. I can't compete with horses, nor no discipline and consequence. I have a decision to make, a tough one. I have a completely winnable case, built on pure bullshit, but my youngest is so openly hostile toward me that I'm thinking maybe it would be better to leave her be?? Tough choice.

I really hope the judge decides to tell your ex to continue covering you medically. And I hope Megan gets the medical attention she needs too. If you need me, I'll be there, ok?

Karen ^..^ said...

Ugh... went off the rails a bit there, my friend. LOL, in answer to your question, yes, I'll testify for you. I just hope it doesn't take too much of a chunk out of my work day, as I'm taking time off around the 6th to go up north for a few days.

ginnnnsane said...

Thanks, Rockangel. It's been a while since I checked back in here.

Karen, I am so excited you get to go on a vacation, especially since it's also a place that means a lot to you. You really deserve time away after all you have been through lately.

I am so sorry your ex is being so evil. It's so hard to be a single mom and struggling to make ends meet. For them to use your struggles against you with your child instead of letting her know how hard things are for you is just sick. Then to use money to lure her ... Honestly, I know judges have seen this crap before. I have a good feeling the law is on your side. Judges know piece of crap manipulating parents from a mile away.

As for the trial Wednesday, I think I'll be ok. He and I talked and I think we are going to stay married. The money situation will be figured out and I should start alimony too.

Karen ^..^ said...

I'm so relieved to hear that, Gin. Thanks for your kind words regarding my situation. My attorney feels that he doesn't have a leg to stand on, but I refuse to use my daughter as a weapon, as they have, in a fight with my ex. I can't use her that way. I can only hope that some day she realizes how much I love her, and that it's NOT ok to treat people this way. I can only pray that happens... As for you, I'm glad you are staying married for now. It's a good thing. Good luck Wednesday.

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