Blog of Gia Bennett

Blog of Gia Bennett

Saturday, October 8, 2011

My Fight

I am reminding myself of the strength I know I have. I lost track of it for a while, not from being sick but because of my divorce, but it's still there when I need it most. Having doctors ignore me the last 6 months while I try to tell them something is wrong has been quite frustrating. Being in a MRI tube for 6 hours two days ago put my mental strength to the test. The only reason the tears came after 5 hours is because I felt like I was ruining my daughters day off with her boyfriend. Luckily the staff let them know it would be a while and they were able to go do things while they waited. Most of the time I was comfortable except when I had to be on my side with my arm above my head. The pain began to be more than I could bear. Other times they had so many pillows propping me in positions I almost couldn't fit on the  tube. The Valium wore off way too soon, but I was able to just blank my mind when it got too much.

I pray I am wrong about the feeling my cancer is back. With the series of events that have lead up to this MRI, I really have lost faith in the medical field. Yes, in years past they are what saved my life, but only in my persistence to get 2nd and 3rd opinions when I didn't like what I heard or didn't feel it was the right course of action. My story has many, many medical blunders. I just hope the torture I went through on Thursday gives me some answers. If it's not cancer than tell me WHAT it is, and not pass these lumps off as ... "I don't know, but I don't think it's cancer related."


Karen ^..^ said...

I had no idea you were going through something this scary, this massive. You hinted about it on FB, but I had no clue it was this bad. I'm so sorry, Gin, and STAY ON THEM. We know our bodies well, much better than the doctors do, so persistence is what you need right now. Take care. <3

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