need new focus

I found a new less expensive server to move Faery Wings too. I also have been doing a lot of reading and going to promote it in different ways. I'm making a new blog to go along with it. I played around with this image to take my mind off things going on in my life.

anxiety

Everything was going so good... except for being broke. But I was handling that pretty well. I read something last night and my world came crashing in. I am so hurt. I had anxiety all night, and now break out into tears when things are quiet and my mind isn't occupied with something else. Everything gets to me when I get down like this. I wish lack of money was my only issue. I'm having a PET scan on Tuesday on top of everything else. All I keep thinking is I'm going to die during a very ugly time in my life.

Amazing story... and a rant ...

I find it amazing that the most courageous, inspirational people in our world get little to no recognition while the scum of our society are glorified in the press. The moral values in our society are all but nil and our politicians are as corrupt as corrupt can be.

How is it a saint such as Irena Sendler can go so unknown. Her heroism should be rewarded and known by all. Yet so few have ever heard of her. I had not heard of her until I saw this clip and then checked into her a bit deeper in astonishment. Yet Al Gore beats her out for the Nobel Peace prize with his global warming film. The biggest doofus on our planet. A man that has not one original idea. A man that used Hollywood to rise in popularity. A man that used fake footage stolen from a movie ... and he wins the Nobel Peace Prize. Our society truly has it's priorities backwards.

I do applaud going "green". I think we need to take care of our environment and do more to protect our health as well as the planets health. I do not believe nor have I ever seen evidence to prove there is global warming. Al Gore has made my stomach churn since he was Vice President. He makes it churn worse now. Please God don't ever let this creep run for President again.

Ok... my rant is over and I have gotten way off the subject here which is Irena Sendler. I'm sure she is getting the praise she deserves in heaven now. Too bad she didn't get it here on earth before she died. What an incredible woman she was.

Inspiration hit me from recent events in my life, so I made these ...

No, they are not my quotes... I just decorated them. :p

I am so proud ...

... of my babies! They worked so hard for the Cancer Foundation yesterday and are there again today! They worked from 10-4 yesterday, but shouldn't be there as long today. The CF is getting ready for a fundraiser so Zack and Meg had to fold around 3000 brochures, put those tape circles on 3 sides, print out the mailing labels and put those on too. lol There were two other teen boys there with them and every time Zack would bring another stack from the printer they would groan. *hehe* I asked if they wanted to work the check in tables with me and Rich the night of the event and they might do it. They have to have to have a certain number of volunteer hours to qualify for a scholarship I am having them try for... but I also want them to volunteer because it's the right thing to do.

I was telling Meg this morning I am signing us up to help with the set up of the ACS Making Strides walk. She asked what we would do. I said set up tents, tables, unload boxes of t shirts, and blow up balloons. We both remembered Zack HATES balloons and started to laugh. I pictured the event coordinator going up to him and saying... can you help fill balloons? Zack would scream.... noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! *hehehe*

Trying to get it together...

Making Strides is coming up. I'm trying to get a team together. This is the logo I made that will go on the team shirts. Knowing me I will probably change or tweak it before they are made... I'm never happy with what I do...





I'll be reopening Faery Wings soon and put that as a sponsor on the back of the shirt. A few recent events have made me realize I was too depressed to promote it, and I have a few doors opening.

I am also going to be doing some volunteer work for the Cancer Foundation. They are amazingly nice women who work there and gave me great information to get the help I need. Zack and Meg are going there this week to get volunteer hours. When I get a little money I'm going to donate items from Faery Wings for their auction.

It's past due time for a PET scan. I put it off because the co pay has gone up so high. But I need to get it done.

I'm so tired today. We all are. Just having a lazy day at home today after such a crazy busy day yesterday. I've been putting cold tea compresses and aloe on Zacks sunburn. My poor baby boy. Meg and Rich have headaches from all the crazy rides they went on. Serves them right for being such daredevils. lol I'm thankful Rich loves to ride roller coasters. I used to love them, but chemo has fucked my body up and I get sick as hell with most any motion now. I even had to sit in the stationary seats in Shrek 4D. I've become pathetic.

Thank God for Chris. We sat in air conditioning and sipped drinks while the daredevils played. Thank goodness for the wimpy rides too so I could have some excitement. Thank you Chris for such a great birthday gift. We had a blast. You are an amazing friend. It was exactly what I needed. Another huge thank you goes to your friend who got us VIP passes. It was so awesome to be able to go to the front of the line and not have to wait for anything! When people would look at us with our badges I kept thinking I would tell them Meg was a FORD model. (well she is!) lol I wish my camera wasn't broken so I could have some pictures of the day... especially when we were under Hulk looking up and Rich and Meg upside down! I had a great time and can't WAIT till Harry Potterland (or whatever they are going to call it) opens "next fall". lol

I hope we didn't wear you out too bad. I know I zoned out a few times, and didn't think I'd make it. But after our rests in air conditioning I felt better. I'll probably be in bed most of tomorrow too. But it's a price I'm willing to pay for having such a blast.

*cries*

I give up. I just fucking GIVE UP! I can't take anymore.

crawling back in bed...

I don't feel good at all. I can't even swallow. Not only is my throat sore, but when I swallow it hurts the left side of my face ... especially my ear. I am completely drained. I may get in the shower and just let the hot water run over me first. That should soothe my aching body. I wish I had a big tub to soak in.

To Infinity and Beyond...

Buzz Lightyear finally made it back into space with the help of the space shuttle Discovery. I had no idea when the launch went off Saturday that Buzz was on board. You can watch videos about it HERE. I love the one where he meets Buzz Aldrin and goes through his space tests ;) On nasa.gov there is an interactive where you can get transmissions, mission updates, and play games. I find this quite fun.

What I found more exciting (sorry Buzz) was looking at all the info about the Phoenix Mars Lander. The pictures are amazing.

With the shuttle fleet retiring in 2010, they are in a frenzy to get the ISS completed. It may be 5 years after the fleet is retired before the new spaceship Orion is ready. I am going to miss those launches terribly. It's going to be a long 5 years.

If Orion is made to do what they say, the we will be back on the moon and also have man land on Mars! Hopefully they can improve on that technology and go further. How is that for ... to infinity and beyond? :)