Life is good <3

Things are going very well in my life. Everything is falling into place.

I've been having a blast this week with a dear friend visiting from Sweden. We've been on the go doing everything we can think of. Seeing the huge smile on his face when he got to sit on the back of an alligator at Gatorland was amazing. That's not something he gets to do back in his homeland. ;) We along with a few of my other friends had a blast playing ... ignoring the wretched heat and humidity. Chris braved an enormous snake (shaking like a leaf) just to get me and Olivia to stop calling her a wimp.

Thank you for the wonderful gift Russell!

We've played on the beach, gone to the movies (Stardust is adorable), Disney, and I'm sure the highlight of his week was sitting with me in my IV treatments... ha! But all will be lasting memories. He cooked Swedish pancakes topped with cloud berry jam and fresh whipped cream. He also baked a cake with lemon and chocolate mousse beautifully decorated with fruit on top. I am going to gain 10 pounds with him here... lol

Today Rich took him up to St. Augustine. I didn't think I could make the trip after having chemo yesterday because the heat is just unreal. But tomorrow is play time at the beach again!

My kids are enjoying his visit. They are also doing awesome in school. They seem to love their classes and are coming home with great grades so far. They are happy and so excited about things to come. Zack will be getting his license very soon, he is also seeking a job and looking forward to the opportunities that will bring. Meg shared her dreams with me and together we actively sought out the best way to fulfill them. There were so many avenues, but we researched and went for it. I am going to be a bit cryptic on the news we got because I don't want to jinx anything ... but she now has an opportunity of a lifetime. I will scream it so the world can hear once we go to our meeting. :D Cross your fingers for us!

I have two of the most mature, well balanced, bright and beautiful children a parent could ever dream of having. They are my heart and soul. They will always be first and foremost in any part of my life... even before my own needs. They have been through the ringer and had so much drama and trauma in their young lives. I will not allow them to be hurt again. It's disgusting when selfishness casts a dark cloud over their lives, but they are smart and understand it's source and have learned to live with it and not allow it to effect them. They are truly my heroes.

On another note, I am blessed to have survived stage 4 cancer since 2002 even when all odds were against me and I had no support.... only pain, loneliness and hate in my marriage. I am so fortunate to have Rich come into my life. I don't know how I would have survived this past year and a half without him. He loves me unconditionally, pampers me, my kids absolutely adore him. My daughter clings to him and my son has a great friend in him. He stood by and supported me in my pain, and also when I mistakenly thought I could mend my marriage. He sits with me during my IV treatments and the nurses all love him. He goes to my doctor appointments and sits quietly listening to what the doctor tells me. He also helps me remember things I need to talk to the doctor about (chemo brain sucks...lol) My eyes have opened and though I have always appreciated his support... I am beginning to see it through new eyes. He is absolutely amazing <3

It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do, or how much you have.

It's who you have beside you.

Fly Free

Life's a Beach

We had another incredible day at the beach.
Instead of Vero we hit Sebastian and had a blast!

The hurricane in the waters south of us are sending in some heavy surf!
The waves were powerful.

My daughter is trying to figure out how to get inwithout getting clobbered like her brother and Rich. lol

Coming back to rest after being beaten up by the surf... lol

She could play in the sand for hours ...

*credit for the last photo goes to Rich*

Young ... innocent?

This is a picture from when I was a teen. I always liked how it had that old time feel to it.

I look at it and see innocence to what my future holds. I had so many avenues to choose from. My world was wide open.

I have learned from my mistakes and unfulfilled dreams. I still have so much life ahead of me. I will not give in, though the thought taunts me mercilessly. I will focus on the positive in my life and make it a goal to fulfill new and better dreams.

I will survive.

Healing

No, these are not mine. They are Louise Hay healing cards. I read alot of her books in the beginning of my illness. They helped tremendously.

I had the strength to keep up with two little ones and keep a positive attitude in my healing process. I was always told how strong I was and I was an inspiration. I helped other women get through their diagnoses. I went through 10 surgeries in 8 years losing all that makes me a woman.

This all got lost with lack of support and my life went into a downward spiral. I now take full responsibility because I have come to learn that we are responsible for our actions and our life paths. This includes how we allow others to treat us. I hold in excruciating mental pain and that just makes my illness worse. I will no longer allow that to destroy me.

I now release my past and am ready to move forward to a brighter future.

Vero Beach

We drove down A1A to Vero on Saturday. It took my mind off bad things going on in my life and my heart was filled with all the beauty abound.

We drove through a state park where there were HUGE land crabs. They were too fast for me to take pictures of them. If I had more time I could have sat patiently waiting.

I will be back little crabs... mwah ha ha ha ha

Here are a few pics of our day. This is heading through a public access to the beach. The water is so blue and the walkway to the ocean was incredible. So peaceful and serene.

Princess Figaro

I was taking pictures of my daughter when I looked over and saw my cat looking too cute. She is still beautiful and feisty at 11 years old. :)

on to something fun...

My sister thinks she is funny. Actually she is.

We were standing in the checkout line at Ross and my niece saw a Bellydancing for Abs dvd. I got excited and said how I had always wanted to learn to bellydance. My sister found and picked up this dvd and said this was more my speed ...

We couldn't stop laughing. She put it on the counter with the rest of her things and bought it for me. I haven't tried it yet, but can't wait to. I want to be "alone" in the house the first time I try so I don't feel like a complete dork... lol I have been getting on my step machine and doing stretching exercises. My stamina isn't good and I need to build strength. I won't push myself until I find out the results of the echocardiogram.

This should be a fun new hobby!!! A few years back a friend bought me an expensive gypsy scarf that jingles. That should be a fun accessory when I figure out what I am doing! *hehehe*

Rage before Serenity

Anger fades

Hate turns to pity

Love lost

Time for Serenity

Can a heart ever mend?

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Life