RIP

As hard as these pictures are for me to look at, I thought I'd repost them from Peter's Blog. Peter took these at Fort Snelling National Cemetery.

I believe the flower arrangement in this picture is the one my friends at the WMA bought.

It looks as though he went out in style. Just as he would have wanted.

Rest in peace, my dear friend. You will never be forgotten.

looong drive ...

I'm so exhausted. Zack had a casting in Miami this morning. We left well before the sun came up. 6 hours of driving for 5 minutes of being seen. I really hope he gets it, but I'm heading to Hilton Head this weekend to pick up my sisters car. She's letting me make payments to her for it, then Zack can have mine. We have to go back out again tomorrow to find him a job! I can't afford insurance for two cars on my own. So, I hope if he gets this modeling job it shoots at least no sooner than next week, I can't handle too many trips in one week. And where the heck am I gonna get gas money for all this? Why do I do the things I do??? *sigh*

FW Widget

I worked on a widget to get my mind off of things. I was too worn out from running around town all day to do anything fun tonight. Tomorrow I'll be in Orlando. My daughter planned her own play day with her friends. Thank gawd they are paying their own way. Me and Chris can just veg and sip coffee while the girls goof off.

Anyway, here's my widget. I hope it works. I was so freakin confused making this! ...lol

Heartwarming....

An old friend of mine whom I lost touch with over stupid things I don't even remember spent the last few days drawing this gorgeous picture. She really captured not only Kip's image but emotion too.

I wish she had signed it! Maybe she will send me a newer version with her signature.

*hint hint*

Thank you for sharing this gorgeous tribute to Kip with me.

More on Kip ...

I have found a few things about Kip online. The most interesting is this blog from Bible Money Matters . It is an old colleague of Kips who wrote about him. I find it ironic that one of his memorials would be in a Christian based blog. He would find that amusing too.

His obituary guestbook is already getting posts, and one brought me to tears. The one thing that holds true about him is he had the outer intimidating exterior. If he didn't like someone... they knew it. He didn't hold back. But he had a heart of gold and was the most loyal friend to have. He was a truly amazing guy with a personality bigger than life. He was someone that could never be ignored.

There are a couple of topics on the WMA about him too.

I would give anything to have the money to get to that funeral on Friday. It's going to take me a good long while to recover from this loss. I will never forget him. He will always be in my heart.

**edit**

Maureen sent me another link she found. (thanks girlie!)
He looks so young and clean cut!

Another link



To add a bit of lightheartedness, I want to share this Photoshopped image Melissa (Sachi) made a few years back.

Gia and Kip at the prom

My baby is growing up...

HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY to my sweet baby girl!

Loss of a friend

I didn't think this weekend could get worse.
I got a call earlier that a dear friend of mine passed away this afternoon. He had pneumonia and ended up dying from Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. I am numb, yet in excruciating pain. We used to be so close for years, but because of a few little tiffs, we drifted apart the past couple of years. If there were only a way to erase the stupid things we do in life. We are both Gemini. Both have hot tempers and tons of love to give. Both wore out hearts on our sleeves. When we had good times, they were great. When we clashed... everyone ran for cover. Please, God forgive me for the mean things I said to him. His friendship meant the world to me. He had a tough metal exterior, but he was soft and sweet on the inside. He had a good heart and soul. Please take care of him. He will be missed greatly.
To anyone reading this... treat those you love like they are special every day.
Kip Allan aka NightbreedRest in peace my dear friend.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH

Stupid lying game playing assholes can kiss my fuckin ass! I have had it.

I am completely and totally distracted today. I can't seem to focus on anything except goofy emails and this kind of stuff ...

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Would Choose Love

Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love. You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet. And while many people may claim they would choose love too... You're one of the few who would really do it.

Would You Choose Love or Money?

yeah ... I think so... but the last question I wished for both answers but could only choose one. That one was hard. I'm sick of bill collectors, not having anything left 5 minutes after putting a check in the bank ... wondering if I'll have enough to get food for the week. :/

Your Love Number is 6

Who you fall in love with is all about who you trust. Loyalty is important to you, and you want the most faithful of lovers. In return, you never let your heart or eyes wander. Open and honest, your relationships tend to be free of secrets.

What Is Your Love Number?

Well this one is true with my new relationship anyway.

piccies ...

I was hoping to have pictures of the shuttle launch last night. But after getting up at 2:15 am we saw the brilliant glow of take off ... it's like a sunrise ... then NOTHING! Thick clouds blanketed the sky and we were left standing in the dark disappointed.

So I am posting pictures of the beautiful sunset I took from the roof of my parents condo this past weekend.

yaaaaawwnnnn ...

I had such a busy weekend with family in town for my daughter's Confirmation. We had so much fun... but my body was on overload and now I'm crashing. With the time change on top of exhaution ...

I think I'm gonna go back to bed.

Flying

(Doh! having it reduced on here you can't read what it says. )

Long ass survey

I filled this out and now Myspace is being retarded so I am posting it here too. I'll try posting at myspace again in a bit.




The "Never-Been-Asked-Before" Survey

1. Do you sleep with socks on or off?
Off, I hate socks and have claustrophobic feet

2. Do you flip your pillow to the cold side?
over and over all through the night ... ahhhhhhh

3. Do you like to hold or be held?
Both! Love to snuggle

4. What do you do most when drunk?
it's always different... mostly laugh and get loud ... er... louder.

5.Do you want a small or big wedding?
If I could ever get over the pain of a horrendously failed marriage and divorce I would love a fantasy wedding... though I doubt I will ever go through with a legal marriage again. Right now I will be happy with a fantasy life with Rich :)

6. What type of guys/girls do you usually go for?
Love goofy guys. I have to have someone that can handle my goofiness because I am not a normal woman. I love compassionate men. Men who aren't selfish. Men that love the same things I love.

7. Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?
Can't rich and happy be a choice? I've been poor and miserable and am now poor and happy... so I want a win win situation for a change! :p

8. What are 3 things you want to do before you die?
See my kids flourish with happy, healthy lives. Have enough money to see parts of America and the world I have always dreamed of seeing. Hope that Rich loves me enough to grow old and happy with me.

9. Have you ever churned Butter?
actually... I have!

10. Are you trusting of new people?
I always want to trust... but have learned the hard way to be wary.

11. If you could rate yourself as a good or bad friend on a scale from 1-10?
Depends on who you ask. Most would say I am a great friend. :) If you ask Tina... she thinks I'm terrible ...lol

12. If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would be the first thing you would do?
Find out why men think with their penises

13 & 14 are for suckersuhhh
... Ok

15. If your dream was to be a model and a big opportunity came up but you had to be nude, would you take it?
now... they would pay me to put my clothes BACK ON. 20 years ago... probably not either. Lingerie... bathing suit... yes

16. You and your friends are going to do a senior prank. What would it be?
uhhh... at my age a senior prank takes on a whole new meaning ... lol

17. What is the most money you would spend on a pair of shoes?
I hate spending alot of money on anything. Waste of money. Give me a cute pair of flip flops or maybe some high heel clogs and I am happy

18. If you found out a loved one had cancer and had 5 days to live?
make their days as happy as possible

19. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
eggplant

20. If you could choose to star in ANY play or movie you wanted, what would it be?
As long as my costars are Johnny Depp, Jeremy Irons and Jason Isaacs. I would be in absolute heaven.

21. Do you have more friends or more acquaintances?
acquaintances probably.

22. If you could win a couple front row tickets to a game, any sport any team, what would it be?
I'd probably give them away ...lol

23. Would you rather help someone out or be helped out?
Both equally. I usually end up helping others though.

24. If you had to choose to be a different religion than what you are now, which would you choose.
None - though I am Catholic I don't follow it completely. I have my own beliefs.

25. If you found out you couldn't have kids, would you adopt?
I would die without the two I already have. Thank gawd I never had to make that choice.

----------------------------------------

1. Who were you with last night?
Rich, Zack and Meg

2. What woke you up this morning?
The alarm ... 7 am

3. Where are you?
My home/office.

4. How was your weekend?
Great! I missed my babies but Rich and I did alot of fun stuff. Even the crappy seafood festival in the rain was fun...lol

5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
YES! Rich, Zack, Meg, my dog, both my cats and my bunny. Now I'm feeling the need to go kiss my 5 birds so they don't feel left out.

The PAST

1.Ever thrown up in public?
MANY many times. Not just from drinking... I get motion sickness bad. I puke on the side of the road... off the side of boats... all kinds of places. :p

2. Passed out because of alcohol?
unfortunately... yes

3. What's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
this survey is too damn long

The FUTURE

1. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
yes

2. Where would you like to live?
I love my house now... though I do dream of having a bit of land so I can have a horse, maybe a goat and some fuzzy chickens.

3. What kind of house would you like?
The kind filled with love and laughter

4. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I haven't decided yet

5. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Happy, healthy and freakin out because my babies will be adults

ON MYSPACE

1. Who is your number 1?
Richard

2. Who have you kissed on your top friends?
I have kissed or hugged all but 3 on my top 16. I really hope to meet Jason, Joel and Maureen in person one day to do the same for them. They have been the dearest of friends and I forget at times that we have never met face to face.

3. who was the last person that left you a comment?
Tina... harassing me as usual... lol

4. Last person to message you?
Sean

4. Are you good friends with this person?
Sean is a sweet guy

5. How often do you log in to myspace?
At least once a day

IN GENERAL

1. Do you like candy necklaces?
yes!

2. When's the last time you fell or ran into something?
all the freakin time. I'm clumsy. Last night I ran into the wall trying to make it to the potty to pee in the dark

3. Do you still go trick or treating?
I still dress up and get excited about Halloween

4. What was the last thing you drank?
coffee

5. there is no question for number 5.
WHY?????????????????????????(ha! there was a question)

6. About how many people have you driven with?
I have been driving for over 26 years... how the hell do I know?

7. What are you doing this weekend?
my mind is blank... but I know we are doing something ...lol

8. Whats your favorite kind of soda?
root beer or cream soda... mountain dew... though I'm not a big soda drinker

9. Last meal?
a sammich

10. Last drink?
coffee - look about 6 questions up - who wrote this damn thing?

11. How many times have you eaten sushi?
a million zillion. I love the stuff

12. What do you want to do right now?
give Rich a smooch since he just got home from work

13. Are you listening to music right now?
nope

14. Are you with someone right now?
Rich just came home from work and is sitting next to me. Pootie (Meg) is here too, and Zack is in his cave playing Xbox live ... lol

15. What's a word or phrase that you love?
Bliiiiiind Giiiiirl!!!! (lol... I yell this every night for Meg to close the blinds :p)

16. How long until your birthday?
3 months roughly.

17. When were you the saddest in your whole life?
there have been a few really tough times in my life. I'd rather not go into that :(

18. What time is it now?
6:05

19. Do you think anyone will repost to this?
I dunno... it's freakin long! I'll be amazed if anyone if anyone READS this

20. What makes you pissed off?
stupid people, games, lies

21. Have you ever had a song written about you?
yes, I have

22. What song makes you cry?
some bring up sad memories

23. What song makes you happy?
Chris Browns "With You" only because my daughter likes it and she MADE me listen to it. I was like... what the hell is he saying?... youweee youweee youweee you.... That made her nuts so I sing it wrong all the time now. lol

24. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
usually watch cartoons with Rich before bed... Futurama dvd's mostly...lol

25. Do you have a job??
I'm allergic to work... but I do run my own online store

26. What does Your CD player have in it right now?
actually I think Daughtry is in there

27. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
eggplant - didn't I already answer this earlier?

28. What makes you happy?
family

29. Height?
5' 8"

30. Hair?
long, curly, and dark with burgundy highlights

31. Piercings?
2 in one ear 3 in the other

32. Tattoos?
no

33. What are you wearing?
black t and black sweat shorts

34. What taste is in your mouth?
ummm... mouth taste? I dunno... I ate a Hershey Kiss a bit ago but I don't taste it anymore

35. Do you have a bad habit?
lots of them. The worst is I tend to get annoyingly hyper and loud... lol

Intolerance

I don't want to be hostile. I don't want to be dismal. But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existance either. See I want to believe you, and I want to trust and I want to have faith to put away the dagger. But you lie, cheat, and steal. And yet I tolerate you. Veil of virtue hung to hide your method while I smile and laugh and dance and sing your praise and glory. Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma as I smile and laugh and dance and sing your glory while you lie, cheat, and steal. How can I tolerate you. Our guilt, our blame, I've been far too sympathetic. Our blood, our fault. I've been far too sympathetic. I am not innocent. You are not innocent. No one is innocent. I will no longer tolerate you. Even if I must go down beside you. Because, No one is innocent.

Intolerance by Tool

Don't think you can hurt me anymore...

"Over You"

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.